I have been working in California with adolescents, young adults, and adults as a trauma-informed and trauma-trained psychotherapist in private practice for over 10 years. I work mostly with complex trauma (emotional wounds and injuries) that manifests itself in emotional distress and identity issues – not necessarily gender-focused. I believe that gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia stem from deeper core issues of worth and distress about the self and about belonging in an increasingly complex and confusing world. This distress needs to be explored, understood, and processed – the bedrock of psychotherapy. To quickly label and affirm a distressed individual in their beliefs about who they are, is to be derelict in our duty to delve into the in-depth exploration necessary that leads to self-awareness.
Affirmation in this manner has typically been called “collusion” in psychotherapy, and therapists must be careful not to fall into a colluding relationship with their clients. When a psychotherapist colludes with their client, they are said to be avoiding the emotional truth, sending a clear message to the client that all their many convoluted and dysfunctional defenses are still very much needed, and not to risk changing, processing, or healing them.
Complex trauma work and relational psychoanalytic models stem from depth psychotherapy, attachment and family systems theories. This is the work I’ve studied, have been passionate about, trained in, and had success with. I am trained in Internal Family Systems and have worked extensively with the subconscious, the body, and the systems and patterns we develop over childhood and adolescence as protective strategies and defense mechanisms to help us navigate challenges in our lives.
Patterns we develop and integrate, although often problematic in some way, help us weather and manage pain, isolation, and shame, and help us garner as much sense of security as possible. Unraveling, understanding and exploring these parts of us is where, and how, healing occurs. After consistent exploration and compassion within the Self, truth and authenticity can be revealed, or at the very least, welcomed and befriended. With time, we become confident with our personal qualities, resilience, and uniqueness, and work through cognitive dissonance, integrating our internal reality and values, with our sense of identity out in the world.